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Reflections from Rev Brad Kenney, Director of Soccer Chaplains United and the Lead Chaplain of the Colorado Rapids and Valor Christian High School

From the Rev: Coming Out

The recent blog posting by American forward Robbie Rogers, who has stepped back from football, announced that he was gay. In a moving post that has been tweeted and mentioned by many in the soccer world, Rogers wrote of the pain of the secrecy that he has had to live with and the difficulty of telling and explaining to his loved ones after 25 years. Soccer, for Rogers, became an escape and a way to hide his secret – but one can sense the pain with which Rogers wrote. He describes seemingly religious attitudes prevalent as he writes, “Try convincing yourself that your creator has the most wonderful purpose for you even though you were taught differently.”

Whilst Rogers didn’t state firmly that he is retiring, that he is stepping away from football is stated within the post. Rogers isn’t exactly a no-name in the sport, either. He played one year at Maryland before turning pro and playing in the Dutch Eredivise for a year. His return to Major League Soccer and time spent with the Columbus Crew he helped lead the club to a MLS championship in 2008. Rogers left Columbus to play for English side Leeds United AFC. Rogers also played for the United States Men’s National Team, scoring a goal against Mexico in a 2011 friendly.

Rogers’ announcement is vaguely reminiscent of Justin Fashanu, who played football in England and openly admitted his homosexuality in 1990; though, perhaps without the tabloid aura surrounding his announcement. Commentary on Fashanu suggests that there was a serious burden which resulted from his announcement and the subsequent response from family. He committed suicide in 1998 after allegations of sexual assault.

Rogers’ “coming out” cannot simply be ignored by the chaplains working in sport, today. There is a real need for those who are working and ministering to clubs and athletes to develop a healthy conversation around ministry to the gay athlete as it perhaps will become increasingly commonplace in the world of sport. The conversation to be had must include best thinking on ministry praxis and the balance between theological truth and pastoral care. An announcement of this kind does not simply happen in a vacuum – there are many people affected – from family, friends, to teammates and fans. There will be some who want to use such an announcement to promote a particular agenda (and from many different sides, not just singularly). All of this comes at the expense of the person at the center.

In their classic book, Pastoral Care in Historical Perspective, William Clebsch and Charles Jaekle identify four functions of pastoral care – healing, guiding, reconciling, and sustaining. To be sure, there are applications for each function in situations such as the announcement that Rogers puts forth. Several mentions of “creator” in his blog post suggest some familiarity or acceptance of God or a “higher being” and most likely some experience with Christianity. But, an analysis of the blog text suggests a wounding coming from the church. As with Rogers and many others, there may be some serious barriers for how a chaplain might be received and whether a chaplain might convey well the love of God – especially in the American context where the issue of homosexuality is so polarizing and paralyzing amongst the different strains of fundamental, and liberal, and evangelical Christianity.

Please pray for those working with athletes in sport – as we engage in these and other difficult conversations. The environment of ministry is ever changing and as representatives of God, chaplains in sport must be prepared and ready, in season and out of season to be the best representatives and ambassadors to a world that is hurting and carrying so much pain. And God willing and empowering, we will do so.

Blessings,

Rev. Brad Kenney

From the Rev: Preseason Form

Preseason often offers a challenge to players, coaches, and chaplains alike.

For the player, there are the tasks of securing a contract, getting into match-fitness, making the starting 11, or, sometimes coming back from surgery or injury.

For the coaches, they must make decisions on what players to name to the squad, what positions need more support, what formation to play, and what strategies to employ through the season.

Teams spend their preseason time refining and working out the mechanics of the game and their work. Often, both player and coach are looking to work out of “preseason form” and begin to ascend to the peak of top shape, top form – physically and mentally. To accomplish this, each goes through rigorous exercise and repetitive drill – preparing over and over to do what must be done when the game is on the line, when they are playing for what counts. Preseason sometimes means extra work – “two a days” and weightlifting and strenuous tests and perfecting skills and re-forming professional habits.

Chaplains must, too, come out of preseason form – there are new faces and names to learn, there is planning for the season ahead, and even a bit of “spiritual conditioning” and exercise that must be taken on (whether praying, studying, or more). All of this with the purpose and intent of preparing to fill in a gap that exists for those who ply their trade in professional sport.

That gap often consists of the lack of community and connection into bodies of faith. Games, travel, practice, recovery – all are often at the mercy of the performance-driven culture in which the athletes, coaches, and staff are part of. Results and success are the drive and demand and there is little space for other things, especially if those things are deemed not worthy or not helpful in attaining the goal.

The chaplain, amongst other things is a representative of God, a connector to faith community, an advocate for persons and their well-being – body, mind, and soul. This work can be emotionally, mentally, and spiritually exhausting and chaplains must often times be “ready in season and out of season” to do the work that God has called each of us to. Your prayers and support in this work are tremendously important. So please take a moment, pray for your local chaplain working with sports teams. Pray that they work out the “preseason form.”

Blessings,

Rev. Brad Kenney

From the Rev: The Future of Sport Chaplaincy

I recently returned from the annual conference on sports chaplaincy, held by Sports Chaplaincy – United Kingdom (or SCUK). The two day conference centered on the growing issue of Mental Well-being in Sport and there was a tremendous amount of attention on the players and coaches with a view to how the pressure of sport is impacting to the social, spiritual, mental, and other aspects of life.

Aside from the main conference, though, was an undercurrent, a subtext. Even from the beginning of the conference, the issue of chaplaincy standards and accountability was an issue that was brought to the table. In all other types of positions and places, there are standards of excellence that usually accompany and accredit one to work in a particular position or field. For example, coaches in sport (esp. soccer) can coach to a certain level with certain credentials – certifications and badges are required to coach at the higher levels (in addition to life experience and other things). So, too in healthcare – nurses have varying degrees of skill and their pay and position are dependent upon the level of training and education that they have. Those levels also help to determine benefits, as well as to limit consequences for things like negligence by providing a structure for accountability.

Currently, SCUK in partnership with the University of Gloucestershire, are developing a program for chaplaincy education and training – but not just any chaplaincy training, rather one specific to sport. Currently, the program is among one of the first of its kind in the Western World. Stateside, Baylor University announced last year that it was beginning work toward the development of graduate program with a similar emphasis.

Although these programs are really just beginning, there is a lot to build on as chaplaincy has had a long legacy – especially in healthcare and the military. But one critical issue yet to be addressed is that of standardization. In healthcare and the military, there are basic standards that must be met – ordination with a recognized religious body, Master of Divinity or similar equivalency, Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE), Board Certification from a recognized organization (ACPE or CPSP) are among some of the standards for chaplains in those fields currently.

While a specific training track for chaplains in sport will be helpful to address the unique context and challenges that are faced, it still stands to reason – what will be done with those teams, clubs, and organizations that currently have a “chaplain” that may or may not have the education, training, or accreditation that is currently being developed?

In the United States, there are few chaplains associated with professional sport that are actually paid by the club or organization. Most “chaplains” have not had chaplain specific training, but are usually associated with Christian organizations with a primary focus on Christian evangelism and discipleship. Not bad things, but definitely not “chaplaincy” as it is currently known and understood today.

There are some instances where chaplaincy training might be helpful in avoiding certain situations like the one the chapel leader for the Washington Nationals was involved with in 2005. But it remains to be seen if the development and education structures for sports chaplaincy will take root for the other simple fact that it is rare for professional sports chaplains to change much – once a team develops trust and relationship with a chaplain, there is usually a longevity to the relationship (at least at the professional levels). And if there is really no pay for those working in professional sport, will there be much interest in investing graduate level money and time into the vocational training?

While there are still many questions similar to the ones I raise that need to be answered, I do believe that we are seeing movement in a positive direction. Personally, I am thankful for having a broader understanding and training as a chaplain which allowed me flexibility to be a chaplain in hospice and to translate much of my training into the professional sports environment. I am looking forward to seeing how education for sports chaplains develops in the coming years and I think that it speaks well for the future of sports chaplaincy to see some education and accreditation structure and standards being developed. In the coming years it is my hope and desire that CrossTraining will be able to be at the forefront of many of these changes.

Blessings,

Rev. Brad Kenney

From the Rev: Finishing Well

As I recently watch a road game for the Colorado Rapids, the team was working to come from behind. Down 1 goal to 2, the team was struggling to avoid a record 10-game road stretch without a point (either a win or tie). Then in the 86th minute, with little left in the time of the game it happened: Rapids’ Smith Goal

As I watched the game-changing event unfold, I thought, “Good finish” and told the team as much in my weekly e-mail to them. That phrase (common amongst soccer fans) though made me stop and reflect on what it means and what it looks like to finish well. Not just by putting the ball in the back of the net on a soccer pitch, but in the course of our everyday life.

The apostle Paul was one who knew that he was finishing well, he told his young apprentice and protege, Timothy:

2 Timothy 4:7-8

New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)

7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.

Can the same be said of us? Do we finish well? This past season for the Colorado Rapids has been a difficult one at best. With an outside shot at the playoffs, a brand new coaching staff, a change of nearly 50% of the players from the 2011 season, the most losses since the record-setting season of 2000 – one might say it would be difficult personally or professionally to finish well.

But, truthfully, we are to work and give an account of ourselves, not as unto men, but as unto God. And whether we finish the season with 20 wins or 20 losses, whether we play 90 minutes or 90 seconds of a match, whether we are a starter or bench-warmer – no matter our job, our vocation, our situation, or our circumstances – we are called to finish and finish well.

I will confess that this season as a chaplain has been one of the most challenging for me because of personal and professional demands and challenges. But God-willing and with your prayers and support, I will work to finish well. Will you?

Blessings,

Rev. Brad Kenney

From the Rev: Losing Wells

No, the post title isn’t a typo. For the past three seasons, Wells Thompson has played as a midfielder for the Colorado Rapids. But Thompson is not so much known for his on the field contributions (75 appearances, 40 starts, 5 goals, 4 assists), but for his work in the community and with fans. Vocal about his faith in Jesus Christ, Thompson was a player who was a regular at the team bible study (or CoreTraining) and also in living out his faith. He was the kind of person to take extra time to pack up team lunch leftovers and distribute it to the homeless living near the stadium. He made visits to the local rescue mission to play soccer with the homeless children. He volunteered for many of the team appearances at local hospitals. And did much, much more. Some have likened Thompson to the “Tim Tebow” of Major League Soccer – even to the degree that he wore the same number 15 as Tebow when he played in Denver for the Broncos.

The day the trade of Wells Thompson to Chicago was announced my phone seemed to beep constantly with texts and notes from friends saying that they had heard the news of the trade and expressing some words of comfort. One of the most interesting for me to reflect on was a short text which simply read, “Sorry you’re losing Wells.” Losing Wells, as I paused to consider the different implications of the trade and the words of comfort that others were trying to give there were a few things that I felt I might share from being a team chaplain for the past 11 seasons.

1. Constant Change – Chaplains must always be ready and prepared for the movement of people in professional sport. Earlier this year, for one of our chaplain training presentations, I looked at the average time span for the various roles and personnel on a team (Colorado Rapids as a sample). For players, the average length of stay on the team is somewhere between 2-3 years. Coaches average around 4 years and front office or administrative personnel are anywhere from 1-8 years depending on the type of position (i.e. ticket sales vs. General Managers). Essentially, there are a lot of moving pieces and parts and it can be hard to develop relationships and even more difficult when those people move on – which is common place in professional sports. As a chaplain on a professional team, there is a constant saying “hello” and “goodbye” – sometimes within weeks of one another. Chaplains in sport must be ready to use each and every opportunity and interaction to a full degree, knowing that change is constant.

2. Reason for the Season – Chaplains must also be open to the sovereignty of God in bringing people (from fans to players to coaches to administrators) into our paths for particular moments and seasons. For a player like Wells, God might have brought him to Colorado to grow in specific ways and areas. These might be as different as professional, emotional, spiritual, and relational ways but in all of them God is working to develop people and God places different people in our lives to encourage and help them grow in different ways and for different reasons. Believing that God has a special plan for Wells’ life (and countless hundreds others who have been through Colorado’s doors), I can rest assured as a chaplain that God is preparing Wells for the next stage and chapter and that his time here in Colorado will have been a part of that wonderful story.

3. Grieving Losses – It would be disingenuous for me to say that I have no sadness about losing Wells (or other players in the past). And it would be unwise and unhealthy to try and tell myself that I don’t need to grieve or mourn those losses when they happen. But, in truth, as a chaplain many times we walk with players, coaches, and staff who have deeper griefs. As we chaplain and companion them, we often try to carry or help carry their grief as well. Sometimes that grief may be directly tied into the very place where a player is. Some players grieve that they are so far from family or friends or familiarity that when a trade eventually does happen there is a sense of relief (for player and chaplain). Other times, people desire more fulfillment in their work or vocational setting (especially when fighting for opportunities) and so a move can actually be an encouraging time (for the chaplain and the player/coach/staff member) because a new opportunity is open to them with many new possibilities.

A value for myself as a chaplain and part of my own vision for CrossTraining, is that we will remain influencers long after the people whom God brings to our teams have gone. A book which influenced some of this was Father Joe: The Man Who Saved My Soul. In the book, Tony Hendra describes a monk who had profound influence on his life through many different life stages and crises. To be a staying presence for the men and their families that come through the doors at the Colorado Rapids into the years and paths that lie beyond is a special privilege and sometimes takes a lot of work. But it is worth it – to be able to speak into someone’s life.

And thus, at least for this chaplain, when people tell me today, “sorry about losing Wells” I can tell them without any hesitation “It is well with my soul.”

Blessings,

Rev. Brad Kenney

From the Rev: Finding Home

The recent form of the team that I serve as chaplain has been difficult to say the least. Winning the league championship in 2010 and now fighting to stay out of the bottom of the league table are two diametrically opposed extremes – and it can be very difficult to travel between the two.

What does a chaplain say to players walking off the field after losing several games in a row? How does a chaplain encourage others who cannot find their way onto the field or bench, even when the results still seem to go the wrong way? How does the chaplain encourage the coaching staff and front office staff who work very hard behind the scenes and become discouraged by the mounting losses and poor results?

There are some times and some places where words seem meaningless and empty, and when you are traveling in this kind of wilderness, it can seem that there is very little to be said or to be done.

Recently, before one of the matches, I was praying about what words might be said to encourage the team. We typically have a pre-game meeting where as many as 5-6 players come to pray before a match and I usually share some words for reflection. God led me to share Psalm 46:4-5 which reads,

A river brings joy to the city of our God, the sacred home of the Most High. God dwells in that city; it cannot be destroyed. From the very break of day, God will protect it.

In reflecting on what “home” looks like we talked about the many different ways we consider home – some live here (in Colorado) far from home; but the interesting thing is how we don’t associate home with a house or building necessarily, but by the people that we are with, the community that we have around us.

I briefly shared the children’s story Panama by Janosch with those gathered. It is a story that wonderfully illustrates where home truly is. In the story, the two characters set out to discover the “land of their dreams” and along the way they encounter many different things. It is interesting when they finally arrive and to discover what “home” really looks like.

Whether a team struggling to win, or a family looking for a new place to live, there are many ways in which finding home is about discovering the people who are abiding and dwelling, and traveling together – and when we are with God and God is with us, these are places that will not fail and will not fall. It is the company that we keep that makes us strong – if our company is with Almighty God we are strong indeed and we can dwell in the shelter of the Most High. We can finally find “home.”

Blessings,

Rev. Brad Kenney

From the Rev: Strike a ball or say a prayer?

Throughout the years, one of the questions people ask about my role as team chaplain for the Colorado Rapids is, “Do you ever kick around with the guys?”

Back in the days when I served the Colorado Rapids as a Public Relations Assistant, we used to have an annual event called the “Media Cup.” Here, there were sometimes an opportunity to play small sided games with the Rapids players, coaches, and media members to help promote awareness and build interest back in a day when soccer was trying to come into its own amongst the other professional sports like the NFL, NHL, MLB, and NBA.

There was a time, too, in team history, when the Rapids trained at a facility in a northern suburb and then commuted to Mile High Stadium. The training fields were wide open, and sometimes, while watching a training session as chaplain, I would help shag (chase) errant balls or clean up after a team’s training session. One particular occasion, I remember a player calling for me to kick him a ball. I took the nearest ball and struck with all my might. The result was disappointing to say the least – I am not sure if it would have been worth timing how long the ball took to get to him, but it was definitely not at the professional level that he was used to receiving on the field from his teammates.

I keep the incident in my mind to remind me of something very important (and it serves to somewhat answer the question above): as team chaplain, my main job and task is not to strike a ball like the pros that I serve. My role is to be the representative, the very presence of God to the players, coaches, staff and their families. My devotion and work is not to see how well I can compete with professional players – there is a reason they are professionals. My role is to be the best pastor, minister, chaplain, counselor, etc. that I am called to be as team chaplain. I would rather be able to pray well over a person or situation. I would rather be attuned to the emotional and spiritual needs of the athletes, coaches, staff members, and their families. These are the things that I have been made for and called to do – the ways that I can best serve.

Sometimes it can be a difficult temptation, when we find ourself working or serving in a somewhat glamorous environment to aspire to be like those we are serving or to want to show our best – but we must be careful to be the best at what God has called and created us to be, not at something that we are not.

Blessings,

Rev. Brad Kenney

From the Rev: Soccer Dad

Happy Father’s Day to fathers today.

Working as the team chaplain for the Colorado Rapids for the last 11 seasons means that I have spent a lot of time around the sport of soccer. Whether attending or watching games or watching training sessions, much of my free time has been spent around the “world’s game.” I even had a brief stint as coach for a U-12/13 (“u” means under) girls soccer team for a local youth soccer club to earn some extra money while in seminary.

Now, with four daughters of my own, people often ask – “When are you going to put your kids in soccer?” It is a question that I wrestle with personally. Perhaps, it is because I have been around the game so much. I have definitely formed some opinions and considerations about the youth game, a few of which I will share with here.

First, let me say, that soccer and sport in general is not for everyone (individually) or every family. My oldest daughter (nearly 9 years old), is athletic and certainly capable of playing, but as a father I must work within a delicate balance. Does my child have a desire to play (or participate)? This question, could be applied to many different types of activities – from piano lessons to horseback riding to competitive sports. As a father, it is part of my role (along with mom) to make sure that our children are growing and developing (i.e. not letting them beg out of activities like soccer just to sit around and watch TV). I remember a couple years ago, asking my daughter if she wanted to play soccer. Her response? “Dad, I just like to play in the yard with friends.” And I see that as a father – it is ok. I don’t feel the need to push my daughter to be Mia Hamm and pursue professional soccer at this point in her life.

A second consideration around youth soccer is the investment that a person and family makes. There is travel time, practice time, game time, injuries, fees, uniforms, and equipment expenses – none of these may be overwhelming at first glance, but here is where the consideration of the family must take place. Our family values gathering around the dinner table and sharing a meal, talking about our day, being together – this is more difficult when you and your child are leaving the practice fields at 6:30 or later at night. While soccer might be something that an individual plays, it has an impact on more than just the individual and each family must evaluate the cost.

Another consideration for me is the atmosphere around youth soccer. Perhaps more so on the boys’ side – but the competitive sphere tends to bring out the worst, especially in parents. Admittedly, in my time coaching U12 girls, there was a lot of shouting going – but from my side trying to instruct girls in the midst of the game. From the other side of the pitch, the parents were often bemoaning the officials (sometimes even me) or the other team or other parents. This is a sad part of youth sports culture – fathers and mothers yelling at each other, yelling at officials and often to the embarrassment and disdain of their children. “It’s just a game?” For many today soccer (and other competitive sport environments) are not just a game – they are a stepping stone to something else. Perhaps it is a scholarship at a college or other types of awards or accolades. These are not inherently bad things, but often in the pursuit of them the bad character of people comes out.

Finally, and perhaps most grieving for me, from where I have been as chaplain for these many years, I have seen personally the devastation in people’s lives when they forsake God for the god of soccer. I have watched parents and players alike, become addicted to the drug of sport. And usually family life, church, and spiritual life are the casualties. The emphasis on the physical training and the physical pursuit of the sport trumps the spiritual. In the end, when soccer fails to produce what people so eagerly want to achieve, there are spiritual skeletons that limp through life. Now, this is not true of all parents and children who put their children into youth sports – but for those without regard or consideration for how youth sport impacts faith and family it is certainly a dangerous threat.

In the end, I realize that some of these words might seem hard or harsh. Some of you may think that I hate soccer (or youth sports) or that I am a bad or unfair father. But my primary responsibility to my family and to my children is to raise them in the ways of God and to take great care in their spiritual, emotional, and mental development as well as in the physical. In other words, dads, we are called to be more than just soccer dads. We are called to be God-honoring, God-modeling fathers “train(ing) a child in the way he should go, (so that) when he is old he will not turn from it” (Proverbs 22:6).

Blessings,

 

 

 

Rev. Brad Kenney

From the Rev: Keep Coaching

The typical coaching contract for coaches in Major League Soccer is three years, though the average length of stay is somewhere closer to 2 years (2.3 according to one source). If those statistics are comparative (there is some question to how scientific) to other leagues, then MLS coaches are among the lowest in terms of average length of stay among professional sports leagues (NBA, NFL, NHL, MLB) as suggested by this New York Times article written in 2008. So what has to happen in that 2.3 years that an MLS coach takes the reins? There are several things that a new head coach must undertake, but before looking at a few important tasks, let’s look at a few reasons for changes in the management of a club.

1. Rebuilding – a typical reason for replacing a head coach in professional sport is because of an under-performing team. Here, ownership and fans alike, often give new coaches leniency in the demands for the teams improvement. The coach works to rebuild (sometimes with a few remaining pieces or from the “ground-up”) by bringing in new staff (loyal or familiar to the coach) and making a lot of personnel decisions (players, strategy, tactics, etc.). Rebuilding situations can often garner a coach more than the average length of stay provided that team executives see marked improvement and progress.

2. Replacing – the truth is, in the world of business and sport, people fall out of favor. Relationships sour, opinions and philosophies differ, and people sometimes just plainly do not get along. Other reasons for replacing may not be for the typical, negative situations that occur in sport – for example, a head coach leaving for a better or higher position or retiring. Replacing can present challenges for a new head coach depending on the type of legacy and success that a previous coach may have had. Sometimes this can create tremendous pressure – the new head coach being called on to live up to certain high expectations (from the past or for the future).

But, whatever the reason(s) for making a change at the helm, there are certain tasks for a new head coach to accomplish that are critical within that short time frame. I suggest a few below:

1. Cast a vision – the biblical adage “Without vision the people will perish” (Exodus 32:35) holds true for teams in sport as well as people in nations. If a team (and all the components that comprise a team) does not know where it is going and have someone to lead them there, there will be a tremendous amount of struggle and discontent.

2. Build unity – not everyone will agree with the philosophy or practice of the top man. And many will show their true colors within a short amount of time – a coach has to deal with those who are not unified in the vision and direction of the team because those who are not on board will in the least slow down the progress of a team or at the worst, disrupt and thwart the teams direction.

3. Achieve success – regardless of words and promises of ownership and executive management, a modicum of success is desired. Sometimes those results are tangibly laid out before coaches as targets to reach. Subjectivity comes to play with each organization on the realistic nature of those particular goals.

While not an exhaustive list of coaching tasks, the above is fairly representative of some basic demands on a head coach in any sport (and many of these can translate into the work force as well). The question remains though, can a head coach accomplish these things in 2.3 years (MLS)? There are other influencing factors for consideration (for example, how supportive a team owner may be – whether in resourcing or financing or how much power or control is given to a head coach, etc.) that may make one coaching situation easier or more difficult than another, but hopefully it is clear to see how difficult it is to keep coaching.

Friends reading this, you might wonder why this musing and contemplation – but it is a consideration that weighs heavily on the team chaplain. If the average length of stay in MLS is 2.3 years, that is not long for building trust, relationship, and investing into someone’s life – especially, when this work is often limited to the time and resource constraints of one or two individuals. I would ask that your prayers be two-fold: first, for the chaplains of CrossTraining as we minister to people in this volatile work environment. Second, for the coaches and individuals themselves, as many have families and others dependent upon them. It can be a traumatic and difficult task to “keep coaching” as it means likely and frequent upheavals and moves, immense pressure and burdens to succeed, and difficulty in opening up and trusting others (like the chaplain) who serve for many years under many different coaches or leaders.

If my words of encouragement to a coach are “keep coaching,” then perhaps the word to us chaplains in sport might be “keep chaplaining.” And God willing, we will do so.

Blessings,

Rev. Brad Kenney

From the Rev: Not All Stories Are Equal

Brad Kenney - Lead Chaplain Colorado

The longer I serve as team chaplain, the more I am reminded that not all stories are equal. Let me explain what I mean: sometimes, in our different roles and positions, we can become so engrained and entrenched in the day to day that we forget to see people uniquely. We can fall into the trap of thinking that people’s backgrounds and experiences are similar to our own.

 

A Chinese proverb has stuck with me for a long time and I use it frequently, “A fish in water doesn’t know it is wet.” Those words are a constant reminder to me to not become so enmeshed (whether in the work or ministry or everyday trappings of life) that I fail to see or recognized that someone’s story might be drastically different from my own. Now, I am not talking about making assumptions that everyone has a similar Anglo background, I am talking about failing to seek out what makes a person (and their life story unique). For the fish (in the proverb) it only comes to an understanding of water life when it has been removed from the life-giving environment it was created for and placed outside. There needs to be awareness before being removed so that there is appreciation and healthy respect of the “other.”

The recent article on Colorado Rapids Head Coach Oscar Pareja reminded me of this tendency and the need to “discover” each new story that has come to the Rapids team this year. Pareja spent years in Major League Soccer, and his adjustment to American culture, his ability to speak English fluently, and other considerations make it difficult (from the outside) to sometimes remember to look for that special story. But Pareja has a life and history that go beyond his time here in America and if I simply limit my relationship to that part of his life, I will lose (and will dishonor) those other parts of his life and story that make him who God has been making him to be. And the truth is that we all have special and unique elements to the journey that God has had us on – and it is the task, it is the responsibility, and privilege of the chaplain (and really each of us) to stop, listen, and remember that not all stories are equal.

Blessings,

Rev. Brad Kenney

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